A Life of Many Cats

Lena - Conehead

2011-12-15T11:28:00.000-08:00

Hematoma. Stitches are supposed to stay in three to four weeks. So is the collar.

All she wants for Christmas is to scratch her ear...

A Couch-full of Kitties

2011-11-13T16:43:00.000-08:00

I guess if I moved some pillows, we could fit a few more in there...

Clockwise from top--Bart, Sammy, Mimi, Nashley and Precious.

Missing Frannie

2011-11-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

I neglected to post after we let Frannie go on August 22nd. I am sorry to have left you hanging. It was just so damned, glacially inevitable. I guess we had a special bond because of her deafness. She was always observant of where we were and what we were doing. She had been through a series of different homes in her first year of life--I figured she didn't want to risk losing us in the confusing, silent world that she lived in.

She knew she was loved, though she never heard those words.

I held her in my arms--to the end and beyond--so she would know she wasn't alone.

A Walk With Max

2011-11-05T11:32:00.000-07:00

Synchronized Sleeping

2011-11-01T09:39:00.000-07:00

Precious and Bart enjoy the afternoon sunlight.

Checking the Woodstove

2011-10-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

I know winter is coming when the night is a series of soft-focused, almost-awake forays into the shop to check Maxie's wood stove.

Max

2011-10-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

Sammy

2011-10-09T07:47:00.000-07:00

The woman who brought him to the shelter had seen him as a stray for three years.

His two upper canine teeth were broken off, so the shelter had those removed when they got him neutered. His tattered ears show signs of having been frost-bitten at some point.

He loves to sleep between us, resting his paws against us, knowing he is safe and warm.

New

2011-09-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

So, we started the month by bringing home two black cats from the Animal Shelter.

Salvadore (aka Sally) looks apprehensive during the ride home.

Tiny Pearl explores her new haunts in the back room.

Tipping Point

2011-08-22T14:12:00.001-07:00

I don't want the power of life and death. I don't want to be the one to decide. But it has come to this and as I watch her struggle through her daily life, I know this is a hole she can't climb back out of. She has lost interest in food and water and just spends her days dozing uncomfortably, waiting for death.

The worst part is her plaintive meow. She, who was always so vocal and assertive now sounds as weak as a kitten.

It rends my heart.

Max and Fireweed

2011-08-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

Afternoon on the Back Deck

2011-07-18T04:09:00.000-07:00

Frannie

2011-07-16T12:43:00.000-07:00

Frannie has been losing weight and began to turn yellow, fighting some challenge to her liver. We have her on medications and she is still eating okay, though she doesn't seem to feel very well.

I fear this will resolve only one way, but as long as she is hanging in there, we will support her.

Gilbert the Guest

2011-07-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

Rabies Clinic

2011-04-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

The free rabies vaccination clinic was held today.

I cleaned out the Suburban and scrounged the attic and out-buildings for cat carriers. I planned to take twelve cats in for their shots--but Clarence and Skinny had other ideas, so I ended up with ten cats to transport.

Four in the front...

...and six in the back.

Everyone cried but Max and Twitch. The clinic was well-organized and we were done in ten minutes--I would walk to the door with two carriers and the techs met me with the last two ready to go back. The gang was remarkably well-behaved and we were all back home in a half-hour.

It's nice when things work out.

Precious and Lola

2011-04-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

Gargoyles

2011-04-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

Skinny

2011-04-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

Wary Skinny

2011-04-05T14:26:00.000-07:00

She will share the house with us--but she doesn't have to like it.

Black Jack

2011-04-02T14:24:00.000-07:00

Mimi and the Precious

2011-04-01T12:23:00.000-07:00

The Sun Worshipper

2011-03-10T10:38:00.000-08:00

On the Prowl

2011-03-08T18:34:00.000-08:00

Playful

2011-03-06T11:24:00.000-08:00

Toasty

2011-02-16T10:41:00.000-08:00

I stood on the back porch and called to Max. I had his breakfast ready for him in the shop.

But Max wouldn't budge from his Lava Buns(tm).

Hot Seat

2011-02-11T11:29:00.000-08:00

Max is our resident sun-worshipper.

Some of our other cats seem to engage in a primitive rite that involves their toys and the food dish, but for Max, it is always the sun. He makes a point of greeting the rising sun and will spend an hour or more basking in the first warmth of the day.

Max seems undaunted by the rigors his ritual demands of him in these colder months but Denny felt bad for Max. When he saw him this morning, sitting outside on the frosty deck, he took out the insulated seat he uses on the backhoe for Max to sit on.

The idea was an instant hit with Max.

Now he will expect it all the time.

Halfway to Spring

2011-02-02T20:57:00.000-08:00

Frannie watches the snow flakes fall--about two-thirty this morning.

By daybreak, there were seven inches on the ground. The sky was overcast and the snow continued relentlessly all day.

Irregardless of that, I think were going to have six more weeks of winter anyway.

The Princess...

2011-01-15T13:43:00.000-08:00

She has been a cat in search of a name. After bouncing around the "M"s for a while--Matilda, Magdalene, Madeleine--I started to call her "Mona," based on her mournful mew. Mo-mo for short.

"Princess Mona," if you want to believe her.

I suppose, since she has fixated on Dennis as her person, his wishes have the most weight. He just refers to her as "my Precious" in a Gollum-like voice. So "Precious" is how she will be known.

Alaskan Cat

2011-01-11T18:13:00.000-08:00

Max is our first truly "outdoor" cat. He was a terrible housecat and seemed miserable when we forced him to be one. Since moving out to his own shop (the new shop addition), he has been in his own element.

He has a set of trails that he patrols around our property, though when the temperatures have been near zero, as they have for the past few days, he doesn't move too far from his heated shop.

We took advantage of the warmer afternoon temperatures (the heat of the day is around twenty) to go for a walk in the back yard. Max accompanied us in the manner of cats, sprinting from tree to tree and dodging out to ambush us at appropriate times.

All Quiet

2011-01-02T16:11:00.000-08:00

Twitch enjoys a quiet moment on the table.

The temperatures are in the mid-thirties and only about an inch of snow is left on the ground. It looks more like April than January.

Raider

2010-12-18T12:48:00.000-08:00

Raider -- July, 1997 to Dec. 17, 2010

He had been failing for about a month as the slow erosion of age bore him down. So I wasn't surprised to find him lying dead in front of the wood stove last night. He had been with us for so long that he leaves a noticeable gap in our family. We never can keep them as long as we want to.

Thanks for the memories, Raider. You were a big sweetie.

Grendel

2010-10-10T01:38:00.000-07:00

The formerly-feral Grendel has--in her dotage--become both deaf and blind. Since that time, she has put aside her fear of us and become a demanding presence. Many time during the day and night, her echoing calls will summon us to find her and lavish attention on her. She goes as far to seek out our bedside and rub her face against our hands or feet.

Apparently we are much easier to love when one can no longer see or hear us.

The New Face in Town

2010-10-09T11:16:00.000-07:00

I met her back in April. She was a frightened newcomer at the Homer Animal Shelter, given up when her elderly owner became ill. She huddled in the back of the isolation area with a worried look on her face. I spent a half-hour cutting a mass of matted fur from her back, holding her on my lap and speaking softly to her fear.

That little face of hers put me in mind of another who came into my life decades ago--abandoned and frightened.

I kept my eye on her throughout the summer. Adoptions were slow. She sat in the big cat room, watching the season pass outside the windows. She was a nice cat but the shelter was full of nice cats.

After BeBe died, I kept thinking of her and wondering if we might have room for another cat. The house is crowded, but some cats required very little. For the sake of my dear Kisa, I couldn't let this one languish without a home any longer.

I brought her home a couple weeks ago and she has fit in well.

Her name is "Khia" and she is almost eight years old.

Yes, "Khia"--that was the name she had been given in her former home. It is a strange echo of another name--one forever written in my heart.

Lola

2010-10-08T01:34:00.000-07:00

Max

2010-10-05T01:31:00.000-07:00

Frannie

2010-10-04T01:29:00.000-07:00

Sleeping Grendel

2010-09-29T09:51:00.000-07:00

Many Toes

2010-09-24T01:49:00.000-07:00

BeBe

2010-09-19T12:39:00.000-07:00

BeBe

1999 - 2010

Our crazy white boy left us early this morning.

I think his heart was failing at the last--he had trouble getting comfortable and kept moving around to various sleeping pads. When I went to check on him at five, he had slipped away.

Yesterday, we had sat in the sun and he had purred. He had been happy. I remember that now as comfort that he didn't suffer. His over-taxed body quit but we will meet again in that place where we are all radiant with energy.

See you there, little buddy.

The Girls

2010-09-16T01:43:00.000-07:00

Changes

2010-09-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

We are re-arranging the household. Raider and Clarence have moved into the shop and the house is calmer.

Max has come and gone and come home again several times this summer. We hope as it gets colder, he will stick closer to home and his wood stove.

Frannie--Staying out of Trouble

2010-08-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

Clarence in the Window

2010-08-10T16:36:00.000-07:00

A Boy and His Cat

2010-08-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

Denny and Max heading out to the shop to do "man-stuff."

The Prodigal Returns

2010-08-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

We didn't kill the fatted calf for him but we did break out the Fancy Feast and catnip. And we built a wood fire in the shop. Hope he sticks around for a while.

Meanwhile the other cats are thinking: "I'm here twenty-four/seven. Where's *my* Fancy Feast?"

Passive Solar Cat

2010-03-20T08:02:00.000-07:00

Midge - Sun Worshipper

2010-03-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

Sun, Snow and Sleep

2010-03-12T08:09:00.000-08:00

Quiet Companions

2010-03-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

Most days you will find Lena and Grendel--two old lady-cats in their mid-teens--sharing a bed in front of the upstairs glass door.

Max

2010-03-01T01:25:00.000-08:00

Max is always glad to see us come in to feed the wood stove in the morning. His bed in the rafters stays toasty warm but he has lived outside too long to take warmth for granted, I guess.

Three Black Cats

2010-02-28T01:31:00.003-08:00

Our Twitch

2010-02-27T01:29:00.000-08:00

Winter Cat

2010-02-24T01:37:00.000-08:00

Max has mastered the cat-door from the shop addition and now has the opportunity to take in some fresh air while watching the neighborhood. We still close him inside at night and will continue to do so until it gets warmer. Max is adapting very well to his life as the master of our yard and out-buildings, but he doesn't stay outside long. He loves the wood stove in the shop even more than going out.

At least for the time being.

Morning Paws

2010-02-23T22:40:00.000-08:00

Threesome

2010-02-02T22:45:00.000-08:00

Consorting

2010-01-31T11:48:00.000-08:00

Frannie and the plant stand confer behind the computer monitor...

His Domain

2010-01-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

Max seems very content is his new digs in the shop-in-progress. He usually sleeps up in the rafters but this morning I found him warming his backside by the wood stove.

Torn Twitch

2010-01-28T12:10:00.000-08:00

Poor Twitch must go through this door fifteen times a day. Although he has access to both the main shop and the house, Twitch always seems to feel he is on the wrong side of the door.

Mysterious

2010-01-11T12:02:00.000-08:00

Mystery resides in the black cat and her ever-watchful eye...

Lazy Days

2010-01-10T12:03:00.000-08:00

Jasmine spends most of her time either snuggling or sleeping. Not a bad way to spend the twilight years.

Felicitations!

2009-12-25T11:08:00.000-08:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Snug

2009-12-17T10:29:00.000-08:00

Outside it is zero degrees (F) but Grendel and Lena are snug and warm on this side of the glass door.

Mimi

2009-12-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

Mimi is glad I put a cat bed under the tree. It is a prime napping location.

A December Look

2009-12-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

Twitch the Christmas cat....

Watching Snow Fall

2009-12-01T19:58:00.000-08:00

An afternoon in the life of a deaf cat....

Weather Watcher

2009-11-27T20:18:00.000-08:00

Clarence

2009-11-26T20:08:00.000-08:00

Lettting Her Go

2009-11-24T10:02:00.000-08:00

Slippers
1996? - 2009

Her whole life was a struggle but she, for the most part, didn't seem to notice.

She was born with cerebral palsy, and fought for the movement that came effortlessly to the other cats. Where they moved with grace and speed, her motions were slow and jerky--but if she resented it, she never showed it. She tottered around the house like a drunken sailor, undaunted by her own clumsiness. She would just persevere until she got to where she was going or accomplished what she set out to do.

I don't know why her original family took her to the Animal Shelter. Perhaps they were tired of her. Perhaps they didn't want to bother with a cat who wasn't "right." For whatever reason, Slippers--confined in a small cage--was pretty pitiful. With her unsteady movements, she was forever tipping over her litter box or food dishes. She was so "tippy" that she had to dip her paw in her water dish and lick it dry to quench her thirst--to lean over her dish was to invite a dunking.

It was that last image that burned into my heart.

I would go in the the animal shelter on my volunteer day and let Slippers out of her cage. I would watch her stagger around the cat room, enjoying the simple pleasure of having space to move in. I knew no one coming to the shelter to adopt a cat was likely to pick the stunted, plain-jane little tabby with the unsteady walk. They would logically assume she was unhealthy and prone to maladies. But I knew a little about cerebellar hypoplasia. I knew that this affliction only affected muscle coordination, not health or intelligence. In fact, CH cats are known to be both bright and cheerful little souls despite their handicap.

Still, I knew no one was going to adopt her, with her common looks and awkward gait while she was surrounded by lovely cats and engaging kittens .

Well, no one but us.

We learned a few things about her right away.

She didn't like to be picked up and would struggle frantically to escape our grasp. We figured she must have been dropped a few times by children or those who weren't expecting her to be so twitchy in her movements. So we made a promise to ourselves and to her that if we picked her up, we would never let her fall. After a few months, she became calmer and less frantic when we picked her up. It took a couple years before she learned to relax when we held her.

Apparently in her first home, there were no regularly scheduled meal times. Or perhaps Slippers was just forgotten more often than not. For whatever reason, she was a hazard to navigation in the kitchen, never trusting that we would feed her unless she was there underfoot to remind us. She had a voracious appetite, as if unsure when her next meal was coming. Despite regular and lavish feeding for the past decade, if anyone was in the kitchen, Tripper would be there, too.

For the first few years after she came to live with us, Slippers was quiet and rather shy. Time changed that so that in her final years, she was often the first one of our cats that visitors would meet. She loved her pillow in front of the wood stove and that's where she would receive guests.

All stories have an ending and we suspected that Slippers' story was drawing toward its close when she began to have seizures this past year. They were rare at first but increased in frequency until by October she was having several a day. We would find her in random locations, wedged under a shelf or between furniture, dazed and exhausted. We put her on medication that stopped the seizures but left her groggy and confused. Her nervous system was betraying her. In in the process she lost the strength in her hind legs and became incontinent. I tried to keep her clean and comfortable but she continued to decline and I had to accept that this wasn't a malady that she was going to recover from.

Slippers never gave up. It was the pattern of her life. But life gave up on her. What was left for me to do was let her leave with dignity and love.

Scabby Boy

2009-11-21T07:32:00.000-08:00

Toby John

2009-11-20T07:34:00.000-08:00

Max is Bax...

2009-11-19T18:45:00.001-08:00

Max in his new digs in the shop:

So now the question is--what to do with him? I will give him a week or two in the cage to catch up on his eating and sleeping and generally de-stress. Then we plan to introduce him into the shop addition--an area where he will have no rivals and lots of room to patrol. That was our original thought when we first let Max outside.: that he could have free run of the outdoors and have the shop addition for shelter and warmth. In the hope that Max would eventually return, Denny installed a pet flap last month in the wall beside the man-door. But I think we will keep the flap blocked off until Max has had the chance to adjust to his surroundings and the weather gets milder.

All that is in the future.

As to where he's been and what he's been doing, Max remains mum. I know he wasn't two-timing us with a second family because surely someone would have noticed his collar maladjustment and come to his aid. So he has been subsistence hunting since July, perhaps supplemented with the dry cat food I kept available in the shop addition. I know he and Amber's kitty, the fluffy red guy from across the block, disputed the ownership of our lot because we heard the sounds of cats squabbling in the night occasionally during August, then less frequently. Then all we ever saw was the red kitty.

Cold and hunger must have driven Max back to brave his rival. I had heard the sounds of a cat argument Monday morning but when I ran outside to the shop addition and called, no one came running. Still, I just had a feeling--or a hope--that Max would remember where he was sheltered last winter and come back to us.

Max!

2009-11-18T07:23:00.000-08:00

I was settling in to watch the evening news and glanced at the camera that monitors our front door. A dark cat was on the porch, drinking from the heated water dish. It wasn't the fluffy red cat that regularly patrols our lot. Could it be Max? Could it?

I crept downstairs to peek out the window, trying not to make any sound lest I send the cat running off before I had a chance to get a good look at him. Leaning over the sink, I could see gray tabby stripes. The next thing I knew, I was throwing open the door and calling his name--"Max! Max! Kitty kitty..."

He made a move as if to jump off the porch until it sank in that I was calling his name, then he turned and came to me. I gathered him up in my arms and took a quick inventory--he was thin but not critically so, and his red collar had slipped to around his chest. It was tight--too tight to unfasten--and later when I had cut it off of him, I could see it had rubbed his fur into clumps around it and there was a patch of dried blood where it had cut into his skin at some point.

Oh my poor Max... I am sure it was a relief when I snipped it off of him, but by then I had transported him to the back room and he was so torn between confusion and joy that he probably didn't notice.

Anyway, I have him settled in the big cage in the shop--familiar to him from the days he spent there last year--with food and water and a bed and litter box all his own. He ate a can of Friskies and drank half the water, then settled in to appreciate warmth and safety.

I slept so well last night--without the half-waking and the worries about where Max was and if he was warm and fed. Finally I knew the answers to those worries.

Rare Sight

2009-11-16T19:10:00.000-08:00

Cats can always surprise you, so I won't say I never expected to see Mimi and Frannie sharing a bed. But given their long-time hostility, I did feel I should capture the moment for history. I suppose with Clarence back on the scene, Frannie has found a new opponent and now regards Mimi as an old friend. And apparently Mimi is accepting the new attitude with feline aplomb.

Halloween Cat

2009-10-31T18:58:00.000-07:00

Bart is one of the least scary black cats you will ever meet.

Angelic?

2009-10-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

She often looks so sweet and fragile, we might forget the rough start Frannie had in life. But--as the healing scratch on her nose reminds us--Frannie is quite capable of taking care of herself. And has a bit of devilry in her heart.

Up Close

2009-10-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

Mimi checks out the cat condo--and the camera--as she takes in the afternoon sunshine.

Formerly Known As...

2009-10-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

..."the Boys in the Back," Raider, Nash and Clarence are slowly finding their way to fit in with the rest of the household.

Twitch in the Cat Run

2009-10-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Twitch enjoys the late-season sunshine from a safe perch in the cat run.

Mr. Twitch

2009-10-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

Frannie

2009-10-08T14:20:00.000-07:00

October Spirits

2009-10-02T10:02:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it is the energy of Halloween's approach, for I am seeing ghosts today.

You know what I mean. Those little glimpses caught between the corner of your eye and your right brain, so that Jasmine sunning in the window becomes for an instant Red Fred. Just the right combination of sunlight and a deflected gaze. Perhaps my unconscious brain found similarities in the facial structure of the two cats, brought out by a low sun-angle. Perhaps the spirit world draws closer in this season. All I know was that for a second or two, I was looking into Fred's calm face.

Then the angle changed and he was gone.

Later, I saw Dinky, with all her trademark vivacity and fluff, perched on the cat tree giving it a healthy scratch. When I turned to look at her, she was suddenly replaced by Mimi, a sleek short-hair twice Dinky's size. But for a moment I thought of Dinky and smiled.

And of course, any glimpse of orange-y fur brings Punkin back to me. Nashley's broad back in the twilight suggests Punkin's fluff and for a moment she is here with me.

Though I haven't really felt her loss in any but the most superficial ways. I have that pain safely encapsulated somewhere in my psyche to be dealt with later. She was so ingrained in me that it sometimes feels as if she is still here, just out of sight, off sleeping somewhere. But I miss her; her life and passion and the way she had of being a focus of energy. The love between us endures but we are separated for now.

So I treasure the half-glimpses I have of her--and the others--because it makes it seem as if they are here with me, if only for a moment.

Midge

2009-09-13T15:56:00.000-07:00

We haven't had a Midget update in a while. She is doing great. Her fur--shaved off by her previous owner--has grown back to its normal length.

She is lively and indomitable, spending a great deal of her time chasing Lola--or anyone else who will run from her. Although she can't jump very high because of her stiff back, she polices the floor and everything up to about two feet above it.

Lola retreats to the top of the cat tree.

I haven't caught Midge up that cat tree yet, but she somehow managed to climb to the top of the cat tree downstairs.

And she was very proud of herself.

Lola

2009-09-10T13:03:00.000-07:00

Clarence's sister--and Bart's daughter--Lola is small-boned and fluffy like her mother. She reminds me of two of my favorite cats. She is small, black and fluffy like our Little Miss Newt with the out-going, Gemini personality of Dinky. She's plenty special on her own, too.

In The Cat Condo

2009-09-09T00:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I named him Clarence. He just looked like a "Clarence", I suppose.

It was about six years ago that we trapped him and his family and brought them into the world of humans. He is still shy but has an affectionate nature.

Naptime

2009-09-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Frannie takes an afternoon nap on the sun-warmed kitchen couch, while the fabric-kitty watches over her.

Another Sunbath

2009-09-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

Black Jack spent last summer roaming the neighborhood and scrounging for food. He lost his freedom but gained a home when we caught him last September. He has adjusted well to life as a "kept" cat and although he enjoys the cat run--especially after I put down a fresh layer of hay--he doesn't seem to miss his life in the great outdoors.

He is a very engaging cat. He likes people. So where did he come from and how did he find himself on his own? He is young--probably four or five--but he had been hanging around the neighborhood for two or three years--long enough to learn to distrust and avoid humans.

As always, I'm just glad to be able to offer him a safe place to live.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Edited to correct the name--I called Black Jack "Bart"! Sorry for the confusion.

Sunbath

2009-09-03T23:56:00.000-07:00

Sweet old Grendel--still feral but getting more comfortable around us. I guess she should--she's been living with us now for over a decade. She lets me pet her when I feed her but only in her eating place. The rest of the time she prefers if we keep our distance.

I made a vet appointment for her--a geriatric check-up. She has begun to lose weight and I suspect our time with her is drawing toward an end. I want to make sure she is comfortable and that we are treating any ailments that are treatable. She has taken up so little space in our home but I know that being here--inside and safe with all the other cats--has made her life longer and fuller.

Max--MIA

2009-08-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

It has been a month now since we have seen Max...

He has gone missing before. The first time he was gone for three days and I cried every night until he came home.

Then he disappeared for a whole week.

He reappeared looking none the worse for wear. He knows how to hunt and is a cautious and restrained cat. It was obvious when we put him outside that he had returned to what he considered his natural element. Indoors, he was timid and insecure. Outdoors, the world was his oyster.

Denny and I have called for him every time we go outside. Sometimes in the night we hear the sounds of cat disagreements. We feel Max is around. We feel he is doing okay. We have talked it over and both think that he has moved back to his original home territory, an area to the north of us.

You see, Max first started showing up on our doorstep shortly after I trapped Black Jack last September and moved him inside. Up until then, we hadn't seen the fluffy red cat that lives on the farm south of us, either. So we believe that when we removed Jackie from his home turf, the two cats who had bordering territories moved into his and were "time-sharing" our porch and the food dish until I trapped both of them last November.

So we think Max has gradually pulled back, under the pressure of the red cat, into what was his original stomping grounds. I suspect that as it gets colder and "game" becomes scarcer, we will see Max again.

I hope so.

Enjoying August

2009-08-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was such a perfect summer day that Bart and Franny couldn't be coaxed from their fresh air spot in the "condo".

Continuing

2009-08-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

The household seems diminished without her presence.

Denny remarked last week that the house seemed so much quieter--almost dull--without Punkin's energy. Even when she was ailing, she managed to fill the house and we were always aware of her--where she was and what she was doing--on a subliminal level. She was the dominant cat in our home. Her life-force was the warm beacon that defined the center of "home" for us and now the cats seem directionless and lethargic without her serving as our binding energy.

I had been prepared to lose her for the last year or more but her loss continues to hit me in all the small ways. I catch myself thinking that she is just off somewhere sleeping in a favorite hiding place, or catch an edge-of-the-eye glimpse of reddish fur or a particular shaggy coat and forget just for a moment that she is gone.

Not that she will ever be gone because she lives in my mind so vivid and clear that I feel her presence still burning warm in the heart of the life we shared.

Mourning

2009-08-02T10:05:00.000-07:00

This morning, it hit me.

I walked into the living room, looked at the cat beds in front of the glass door and it hit me. Punkin is gone.

In a visceral moment, I felt her loss all the way through to my heart.

All those years.

How much she loved me.

All the nights she slept on my pillow, her paws touching my head.

What will stay with me the most is how she would light up when I said her name. The bond of love was so strong between us that nothing else mattered.

I watched over her last days, tended her dying and wrapped her for burial in a fog of insensitivity. Not a failure to feel so much as a refusal to feel.

Or just a delay.

Somehow, I knew I would have the rest of my life to mourn her loss.

Good-bye, Punky

2009-08-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

Punkin
1 October 1994
to
31 July 2009

A bright flame has passed into the West...

Punkin

2009-07-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

I know these are the last days of her life.

My heart hurts, watching her grow thinner and more frail as the days of summer begin to wane. I have known for the past few years that her kidneys were failing. She has out-lasted my expectations, for which I am glad.

I will miss her. She has been my companion for fifteen years. A cat of passion and intelligence, she will leave me sadden but grateful for the life we shared.

A Walk in the Backyard

2009-07-26T13:44:00.000-07:00

Punkin loves going outdoors, though she seems a bit confused about what it is she wants out there. She walked around with me for a while, mibbling grass and sipping at rainwater puddles.

I can't begrudge her these last glimpses of Nature that she loves so well.

Mimi on the Porch

2009-07-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

Frannie

2009-07-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

Max, Relaxed

2009-07-15T14:19:00.000-07:00

Max has enjoyed being outside these past weeks. He is obviously in his element, living the lifestyle he is accustomed to. We have never seen him so relaxed and happy.

I hate having to make the decision to put him outside but it seems to be the best one for all concerned. I will feel guilty if something unfortunate happens to Max but but threat has to be balanced with his joy and the marked decrease in tension among the cat in the house. They are happy he is outside, and so is he. I'll just have to live with my fears.

The good of the many....

Unperturbed

2009-06-25T16:06:00.000-07:00

...by the eagles perched in the trees...

Happy Max

2009-06-22T13:27:00.000-07:00

Black Jack

2009-06-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted a photo of Black Jack.

He's been adjusting to his new indoor life rather well. He is a dominant personality in the shop--to such an extent that Mr. Twitch tries to avoid him. Since Twitch has visiting privileges in the house and his own space on the mezzanine, he's making do alright.

Regular meals and cozy living agree with Black Jack. I have started to call him "Waddles" as he is getting a bit broad in the beam.

Even so, he is a beautiful cat.