Monday, May 26, 2008

A Cat Named Bunny

Flowers for Bunny

This is hard to write because it is hard to grasp the idea that Bunny is gone.

She went downhill quickly. We had made a pledge to her that we wouldn't let her suffer. When it became too hard to keep that promise, we had to let go of our little blind girl.

For so long, she was like the rocks, the earth--a steady, dependable presence. The reality hasn't sunk in yet. We have yet to truly miss Bunny.

Buny 1999

Friday, May 23, 2008

A Wish Fulfilled



Out in the backyard, a small hollow of ground screened from the wind by the building--Frieda enjoyed the fresh shoots of grass. During the long, rough winter, I despaired of her ever having this experience again.

I know she is on a downward trend, but that is what makes these small moments sweeter.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

BeBe

BeBe in the Backyard

This afternoon was mild enough that I put Bebe outside in his cage to enjoy the fresh air. There is a bite in the breeze but once you get out of the wind it is quite pleasant.

Springtime in Alaska...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Bunny's Birthday

Bunny and Punkin in February 2008

Today is Bunny's twelfth birthday.

She was born to a stray cat in the Animal Shelter--I was the first human to touch her.

Because she couldn't see, our relationship was one of soft voices and tender touches, deep and quiet. I remember the hours we spent together, taking trips to various veterinarians looking for solutions to her eye problems. Throughout her life, we have shared a deep and quiet bond.

I am going to miss her. I don't want to say it, but I know this is her last birthday, and as such, it is full of bittersweet memories.

Bunny August 1996

Happy Birthday, Bunny. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Bunny Again

With the help of injectables for pain and to quiet her acid stomach, Bunny has been feeling pretty good since her vet trip on Monday.

Of course, I am trying to miss no opportunity to bestow affection on her, speaking to her every time I pass her sleeping basket, bringing her up onto the bed at night to cuddle with me, and petting her every chance I get.



It is always easier to know what is going on with the cats than to speculate, even when the news is bad. At least now, as I wrote previously, I have a sense of the shape of the future, I know why Bunny has been lethargic and I can help her to feel better.

Knowing the inevitable outcome, we also know there will be a point when we have to make a decision based on Bunny's quality-of-life, most specifically, pain. All depends now on long as we can keep whatever pain there is at bay. With our vet's help, it may be a while yet that we can enjoy Bunny. But when Bunny stops enjoying life, we owe it to her to let her go.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Bunny

I can't say I was surprised. I knew that Bunny hasn't been feeling well for the past month or so. She has become even less active, staying in her bed most of the time, and picking at her food, slowly losing weight.



I mentally began to adjust my thoughts to encompass the possibility of maybe losing her in the next few months. I don't want to think about it but I have to prepare my heart. So I wasn't too shocked to be standing in one of the exam rooms at the vet clinic this afternoon, looking at x-rays with our grave and sympathetic veterinarian. I had a feeling that this was coming.

In short, Bunny has possible malignant growths in her abdomen and her blood work revealed signs of kidney failure. I had read the signs. I can see the shape of Bunny's death, forming on the horizon.

Now our job is to make the days between now and then the best days possible for our sweet blind kitty.