Perhaps it is the energy of Halloween's approach, for I am seeing ghosts today.
You know what I mean. Those little glimpses caught between the corner of your eye and your right brain, so that Jasmine sunning in the window becomes for an instant Red Fred. Just the right combination of sunlight and a deflected gaze. Perhaps my unconscious brain found similarities in the facial structure of the two cats, brought out by a low sun-angle. Perhaps the spirit world draws closer in this season. All I know was that for a second or two, I was looking into Fred's calm face.
Then the angle changed and he was gone.
Later, I saw Dinky, with all her trademark vivacity and fluff, perched on the cat tree giving it a healthy scratch. When I turned to look at her, she was suddenly replaced by Mimi, a sleek short-hair twice Dinky's size. But for a moment I thought of Dinky and smiled.
And of course, any glimpse of orange-y fur brings Punkin back to me. Nashley's broad back in the twilight suggests Punkin's fluff and for a moment she is here with me.
Though I haven't really felt her loss in any but the most superficial ways. I have that pain safely encapsulated somewhere in my psyche to be dealt with later. She was so ingrained in me that it sometimes feels as if she is still here, just out of sight, off sleeping somewhere. But I miss her; her life and passion and the way she had of being a focus of energy. The love between us endures but we are separated for now.
So I treasure the half-glimpses I have of her--and the others--because it makes it seem as if they are here with me, if only for a moment.