Sunday, August 2, 2009

Mourning

This morning, it hit me.

I walked into the living room, looked at the cat beds in front of the glass door and it hit me. Punkin is gone.

In a visceral moment, I felt her loss all the way through to my heart.

All those years.

How much she loved me.

All the nights she slept on my pillow, her paws touching my head.

What will stay with me the most is how she would light up when I said her name. The bond of love was so strong between us that nothing else mattered.

I watched over her last days, tended her dying and wrapped her for burial in a fog of insensitivity. Not a failure to feel so much as a refusal to feel.

Or just a delay.

Somehow, I knew I would have the rest of my life to mourn her loss.

7 comments:

Jan's Funny Farm said...

We know how hard it is to lose a beloved furry. And it is hard when it really hits you. We send warm purrs and soft tail wags.

angelfire said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Laura.

angelfire said...

I'm so sorry Laura.

laura said...

Thank you so much for reaching out to me in my sorrow. It helps to share with those who understand.
((hugs))

Cats~Goats~Quotes said...

**tears** I am deeply sorry for your loss.
(((Hugs)))

possumlady said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for the loss of Punkin. I know exactly what you are going through.

When my beloved Butterball was put down a year ago, I had to put myself on auto pilot for a while. It wasn't until a few days later getting ready for bed that it hit me. See, Butterball used to scratch my back every night before I turned in and at that moment realized I would have no more back scratches and burst into tears.

Take gentle care of yourself.

Meggie said...

So sorry for the loss of Punkin, Laura. I'm sure you heart hurts and mine hurts for you. Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.