Friday, August 14, 2009
The household seems diminished without her presence.
Denny remarked last week that the house seemed so much quieter--almost dull--without Punkin's energy. Even when she was ailing, she managed to fill the house and we were always aware of her--where she was and what she was doing--on a subliminal level. She was the dominant cat in our home. Her life-force was the warm beacon that defined the center of "home" for us and now the cats seem directionless and lethargic without her serving as our binding energy.
I had been prepared to lose her for the last year or more but her loss continues to hit me in all the small ways. I catch myself thinking that she is just off somewhere sleeping in a favorite hiding place, or catch an edge-of-the-eye glimpse of reddish fur or a particular shaggy coat and forget just for a moment that she is gone.
Not that she will ever be gone because she lives in my mind so vivid and clear that I feel her presence still burning warm in the heart of the life we shared.